Empathy

-How did make such a mistake, I am so stupid!
-Everyone does mistakes don't worry just pay more attention next time.

THIS IS NOT EMPATHY!

Hard to accept right? But that's true, this is not empathy, this is consolidation.
Empathy is to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Being able to really understand without trying to judge, help, advise, consolidate or change the subject. People often try to take responsibility about other's problems. They try to take action on other's behalf. The sentence that I have written on top is a perfect example of that. That person knows that he is not stupid or he needs to be careful next time. Emphatic response should have included the feeling and the needs that he observes, meaning that he understands and connects with the other without taking any action. Such answer could be a question such as "You feel disappointed with yourself because you wanted that job to be perfect?" Empathy is instinctive for us, people are born with empathy and understanding others, reading intentions and minds. It is crucial to know that someone can feel what I feel when I express the situation I am in, because I need to be understood. Feeling and needs are same for every human being so we are perfectly capable of empathizing with others and it is a perfect way to fulfill other's needs.